This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
