Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
