i would punch a child for taco bell
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
