I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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