I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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