It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
