i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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