If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
