I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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