I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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