If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
