i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
