yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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