OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
