fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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