They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
now i know why i became what i already was.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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