you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
