My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
