I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize