I've blown a few things in my day
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
