I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
