I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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