hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
