I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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