It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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