I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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