yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
