Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
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Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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