I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
