If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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