My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
