do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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