She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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