sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
