The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
