two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
