absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize