Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
