So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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