i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm both gender and math confused
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
