Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize