so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize