hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
