if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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