Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
