My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
