we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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