The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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