I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
