Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
