Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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