You just made me feel so damn special
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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