3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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