i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize