I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
