TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
