Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
