Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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