fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
What did we do last night that was yellow?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
