oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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