you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
