I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
