Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize