she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
