How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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